We're just over 6 months into Gabe's diagnosis of Autism. The 'A word'. At first, all we did was say Asperger's but I read an article where parents discussed how hard it was for them to say this about their child. I realized I too was avoiding saying it. Then, like a switch, I turned rather unabashed, telling anyone in hopes others would understand just what a monstrous effect this little word has.
Many of the signs are there and yet some blend in. Lack of eye contact, intense focus on one or two activities, lack of social interaction, and speech delays to name a few. The major one, noticed by our dear friend Gail, about a year before his diagnosis, was one I brushed away. She pointed out that Gabe had become distant, less connected. And this came from a woman whose life work is about communication and connection, who I worked for and took Gabe with me to her home from 2 weeks old until he was 18 months. She was to be trusted implicitly. Instead, I made it about me, thinking I just needed to pay more attention and do a better job. It took months and more seemingly behavioral issues to lead us into the pediatrician's office and then to the neurologist.
It was heartbreaking, in every sense of the word, to tell everyone we know and love that this wonderful, amazing little boy had such great challenges ahead.
It is difficult for a child with Autism to engage others socially even though they so desperately want this. We are fortunate that Gabe does communicate verbally but certainly not where your typical 4 year old would be. Mostly his speech is very repetitive and is about the routines he becomes so accustomed to. His little brother is his guinea pig...as is the case in most homes. Gabe gets a lot of practice figuring out how to bring Zachary into a simple game of rolling the ball or chase without using words.
There are many challenges to Autism but Danny and I are buoyed by Gabe's gentleness, his humor and his capacity for love.
Currently, Gabe is in a great program at the neighborhood elementary school with other kids with learning disabilities. Our families and friends are all involved in many different ways as we all work to support him and each other on this journey.
We know we are not alone.
